Slow and Steady
Reframing Setbacks, Both in Writing and in Life
I started JEKWrites for several reasons:
To share my insights regarding the craft of writing
To talk about creative process
To offer occasional prompts and challenges to my readers
To recount what I’ve learned and/or what I struggle with in regards to my own writing journey
In a nutshell: all things related to the writerly life.
And in this post, I want to focus on that last bullet point. Specifically, setbacks.
Starting Over, Again and Again
Often when I revise, I start fresh with a blank page, retyping a story from scratch. I recognize that this is easier to do when one writes very short work, as I typically do, but I’ve done it for longer work, too. I have two monitors and will keep a copy of the old draft (or drafts) up on one monitor, while I rewrite on the second monitor.
There are many reasons why I revise this way, but I especially like the freedom a blank page offers me (particularly true if I have a piece I need to do substantial revision on). With a blank page, I am not constrained by any of the structure, phrasings, or punctuation of the previous draft.
It can be refreshing to start anew.
It can also be harrowing.
Both in writing and in life.
Hitting Reset
I often feel like I’m “revising” myself—resetting myself, starting again. Over and over. I lose myself and have to find myself again, hit refresh. Only it’s not always as easy to do this in life as it is with writing (and it’s not always easy then either!).
The end of 2023 was busy, so busy, in fact, that in January, I hit the ground running and didn’t slow down until I came to what felt like a crashing halt near the end of February.
On February 11, I returned home from AWP in Kansas City bursting with energy and inspiration. I’d had a lot of time to think on my 12-hour drive back and, upon arriving home, I excitedly dove into a creative nonfiction piece I’d been avoiding for a couple years. I suddenly wanted to work on it.
It ended up being much more difficult (emotionally) than I was expecting it to be, but I persevered, even submitting the piece after I deemed it “finished.” The subject matter, though, sent me spiraling into a cycle of grief, guilt, and insomnia that came to a head around mid-March. The whole month of March was rough for me for a variety of reasons, and, frankly, I’m not sure where either March or April went, as both months were pretty much a blur. But after weeks of acute insomnia and anxiety, I finally got my sleep back on track in April and started feeling better mentally/emotionally again.
But my writing/submission routine suffered. Which, after so many months of writing/submitting regularly, felt like a setback. My initial reaction was to berate myself.
But upon some (essential) reflection, I’ve concluded that maybe it wasn’t the setback I thought it was. Maybe it was just part of the process.
When a Setback Isn’t a Setback
A setback isn’t always a setback.
When I’m retyping a story onto a blank page during my revision process, it may seem (especially to others) like I’m doing extra work, a regression of sorts. But it’s not. I see it as progress.
The same might be true in life as well.
Sometimes what appears to be a setback is merely a break, a rest, a time to pick oneself up again. To start over, hit reset. Maybe like a blank page, it’s actually a kind of freedom, opening oneself up to new possibilities—and not constrained by the past.
When I’m “in my head,” it can be hard to see the forest for the trees. So even though part of me feels like the last couple months were a wash (writing-wise), there’s also a lot of evidence to the contrary. Consider:
At the end of March, I submitted a chapbook manuscript to two contests.
Early in April, I wrote and submitted a piece to Gooseberry Pie Lit’s six-sentence story contest. Between April 1 and April 9, I revised the story 17 times. (I save a story under a different file name whenever I make substantial changes to it, though what constitutes “substantial” is arbitrary.) The result was that my story “Too Good to Be True” ended up being one of two first-place winners in the contest!
On April 15, a collaborative story I wrote with Christine H. Chen and Jane Salmons was published in Atticus Review. This was the first (but not last!) collaborative story I’d ever written. All three of us were pleased with how it turned out and were especially excited to have it published in Atticus.
I completed and submitted an application for a flash fiction fellowship.
I revised three stories I had written during Smokelong’s March Micro Marathon and submitted them to FlashFlood Journal, which is only open for submissions one week out of the year. I’d had a story accepted in FlashFlood three years ago, but had received rejections the last two years. So, I was excited when my story “Herd Mentality” was accepted this year—to be published June 15 (National Flash Fiction Day, UK)!
Celebrating Successes
I previously wrote about celebrating successes, no matter how big or small. But I want to add that sometimes it’s easier to see what we’ve accomplished in retrospect. The last two months may have felt like a blur to me, but highlighting what I’ve accomplished, as I’ve done above, helps make the picture clearer (and possibly truer).
Other fun things I’ve done in the last two months include seeing David Sedaris, one of my favorite writers, speak/read in Ann Arbor on April 30, and then taking a whirlwind trip to Chicago on May 1-2 to visit with a college friend who was there for a conference. While there, we went to the American Writers Museum!
There are various ways to keep writing on the forefront of my mind even when I’m not—or feel like I’m not—writing or submitting as much as I want to. Taking a break doesn’t mean that I’m not progressing as a writer. And it’s not a setback by any means.
It’s just a rest, a time to take care of oneself.
The Tortoise and the Hare
Like with revision, starting from a blank page—starting fresh—is an opportunity. Freedom to begin again. Over and over, and as often as you need.
Remember the tortoise and the hare. Slow and steady. Progress may not always look like progress when it’s happening.
Once again, an inspiring gift to struggling writers! I so appreciate your contributions to us. Thanks you!
"Sometimes what appears to be a setback is merely a break, a rest, a time to pick oneself up again. To start over, hit reset. Maybe like a blank page, it’s actually a kind of freedom, opening oneself up to new possibilities—and not constrained by the past."
I think I mentioned that during one of my "setback" times when I felt really blocked, I met a medium! She said "oh honey, you are blocked! You are absorbing!"
In the same way that was an AHA! moment for me... we live in such a driven culture that rest and "gathering in" isn't even included in the equation! That's insane! Both from a human aspect, but especially creatively.
Also I'm so glad you got that NF piece written -- there's truth to you can't go around something, you have to go through it. I know that by heart! Your brain needed a place to lay down this worry and you did good work putting it out on the page. I am guessing that story won't be done with you yet, as it will come back up in all kinds of forms in your writing over time.
Sending you lots of love! Call me/text me anytime! XO