New Year, New Perspective

Reflections from 2023 on Writing and Life

Happy New Year!

It already feels like we’re well into 2024, even though it’s only the first week. Whew! Between travel, holidays, and work, today is the first day in several weeks that I’ve been able to sit down and actually reflect on the past year.

I’m not much for New Year’s resolution's, per se, as I’ve always found that “resetting” myself is an ongoing feat and not just a once-a-year decree. I’m human and I make mistakes; I strive to do better, be kinder, eat better, exercise more, etc. on a daily basis. That said, I do like to take time at the beginning of a year to reflect on what’s changed and/or what goals I’ve met. And I’m happy to report that while many things remain the same, there has also been a lot of positive change for me in the past year.

Specific to writing, reflecting on what I’ve accomplished over the previous year helps me look more clearly at the big picture. This prevents me from thinking about what I didn’t accomplish, because honestly, what I didn’t do doesn’t matter.

And not just specific to writing, it’s important to remember that change/progress is often subtle and slow. Your progress won’t look like mine, and mine won’t look like yours.

2023 by the Numbers

What I found when I reviewed my writing submissions for 2023 is this:

I received a whopping 165 rejections in 2023!!

And I had 17 stories published! (You can view my list of publications here.) I received more than 17 acceptances, but many of those stories are forthcoming in 2024. I received roughly 30 acceptances in 2023.

I managed a few final rejections in the last days of 2023, but I also received acceptances from two of my “goal journals,” one from which I’d racked up about 15 rejections over the last two years!

2024 (So Far) by the Numbers

So far for 2024, I’ve received one acceptance. No rejections so far, but I have a slew of work from 2023 still out for submission, so the rejections should be rolling in momentarily!

I’ve submitted two stories so far this year.

And my first publication for 2024 came out this week, a flash/prose poem called “Always, Always,” which you can read here.

But while the numbers may be interesting (or maybe overwhelming?), for me, an end-of-year reflection is really more about my growth (both as a person and a writer).

What I Learned in 2023

After twenty years of writing and participating in and leading writing groups, it was the pandemic that really jumpstarted my current creative writing success. Throughout 2020, I was caregiving for my mother, who died in December 2020. My friendships changed drastically during this period of time; several previously close friends stopped talking to me after my mom’s death, heightening my grief. Like many during the pandemic, I was left feeling very isolated, particularly because I work remotely and live alone. During this time, I was also caregiving for my beloved senior dog, Rosie, who died in 2022. Throughout these challenges, I found solace in online writing workshops and groups, as writing seemed to be the only thing I had any control over. In many ways, it was my only means of escape.

After two years of depression mixed with grief, anxiety, and symptoms of PTSD, in mid-2023, a wonderful grief specialist finally helped me start to find my way out. For me, then, 2023 was about healing. That’s not to say I’m completely healed, but I’ve begun to find myself again, a person buried beneath multiple traumas and heartache. I began engaging with others again. I began to rebuild a social network. I had to learn how to make friends again. How to reach out to others. How to laugh. And how to dance again. To be clear, this is an ongoing journey, but the main thing I learned in 2023 is that it is possible to rebuild a broken world, to pick up the pieces. And it is possible to set limits. After two years of working without breaks or weekends or vacations or rests, I started to find myself able to breathe again in 2023. To have weekends. To travel. To enjoy the company of others. But it took a while.

Writing-wise, in 2023, I learned that developing a writing routine and habit can be intoxicating, maybe even addicting. People may be shocked at my number of rejections and publications, but the fact is that I enjoy the process immensely, from start to finish. I get a rush when I submit work, and I get a rush when I receive an acceptance. But I also get a rush when I receive a rejection! Where am I going to submit next? The whole process thrills me (and I may very well be alone in this; submitting is very tedious work, after all—not many enjoy it).

I’ve recently immersed myself in an independent study of behavioral psychology, through which I’ve come to learn that I (inadvertently) “trained” myself to enjoy the revision/submission processes. In fact, I’ve “trained” myself to become a better writer through the same method. (I am now in the process of expanding on this accidental self-study, as I believe that through understanding it further, I can better assist other writers.)

Entering 2024 with a New Perspective

Reflection is about taking a step back, looking at the larger picture. In December 2023, I travelled to France with my friend and fellow writer Margaret Montet. I love this photo she took of me taking a picture, partly because I was completely unaware that she was taking it! It’s not often that we see ourselves as others might. (Check out Margaret’s collection of essays, Nerd Traveler (2021), published by Read Furiously.)

I’m entering 2024 with a wide range of new interests and aspirations. My grief therapist helped me learn how to set future goals that excite me and keep me looking forward: What do I want? What are the specific steps that I need to take to make X or Y happen?

Very little in life happens immediately. I now know better how to find my way forward and live the life I want to live. 2023 helped me learn how to prioritize my mental health and set limits. 2023 also helped me face my anxiety by getting out of my comfort zone, as I learned to travel again, as I learned to face the unknown and the new.

I enter 2024 with a new perspective. I’ve literally changed my brain—“rewired” it—but it’s not permanent; nothing is. I have to work at maintaining my mental health, just as I work at maintaining my physical health.

And just as I work at maintaining a writing routine.