I love how the smallest revisions can make a big difference! This poem makes me nostalgic for some red corduroy overalls I used to have—now I want to find a picture of them.
Thanks for lifting up poetry on this first day of its "month," and for taking us on a tour of your editorial process on one of your own poems. So generous to do that! I loved "Corduroys," and I can also see the merits of the nits you picked. I think one of the challenges unique to poetry is how to tell an entire story with an economy of words (kind of like flash and microfiction in that regard?). I love the imagery of your thighs, clad in those corduroys, speaking to each other and Mrs. Sorrentino. I also love how you convey that Mrs. Sorrentino speaks to you through her look. I love the onomatopoeia of the "swish." And lastly, I got a bang out of the reminder about how coveted those Esprit sweatshirts were!
Ha, yes to the Esprit sweatshirts lol! Thank you for your comment. I would agree that poetry is similar to flash/microfiction in its economy of language, and there does tend to be a lot of crossover between poets and those who write flash. Until I understood the flash form, that's one reason I was drawn to poetry. My poetry tends to be more autobiographical; this poem, in fact, reminded me of another one I wrote about my piano teacher from when I was in elementary school. I may have to dig that poem out, too!
I loved seeing the side by side comparisons and editing process for this poem! Also the swish swish of my thighs in the corduroys -- greaaaat sensory detail. I remember this from when I wore corduroys too :)
Happy Poetry Month! I found the revisions you'd made from your original to the 2025 poem so fascinating. Subtle changes but greatly improved. I placed both versions side by side in a Word doc table and the revised poem is visually appealing and the new structure enhances its rhythm. And how exciting that you're taking a playwriting course! Switching it up once again. Thanks for sharing.
Cool to see your poem and then the revisions, Jessica! I love seeing that process. I also adore the photo of you as a child. Your spirit shines through!
I loved the original poem, and yet your revisions have made such a difference! I appreciate how you shared your thoughts and the steps you took. Thank you!
I love how the smallest revisions can make a big difference! This poem makes me nostalgic for some red corduroy overalls I used to have—now I want to find a picture of them.
I loved my red corduroys! (And I still love corduroys!)
Thanks for lifting up poetry on this first day of its "month," and for taking us on a tour of your editorial process on one of your own poems. So generous to do that! I loved "Corduroys," and I can also see the merits of the nits you picked. I think one of the challenges unique to poetry is how to tell an entire story with an economy of words (kind of like flash and microfiction in that regard?). I love the imagery of your thighs, clad in those corduroys, speaking to each other and Mrs. Sorrentino. I also love how you convey that Mrs. Sorrentino speaks to you through her look. I love the onomatopoeia of the "swish." And lastly, I got a bang out of the reminder about how coveted those Esprit sweatshirts were!
Ha, yes to the Esprit sweatshirts lol! Thank you for your comment. I would agree that poetry is similar to flash/microfiction in its economy of language, and there does tend to be a lot of crossover between poets and those who write flash. Until I understood the flash form, that's one reason I was drawn to poetry. My poetry tends to be more autobiographical; this poem, in fact, reminded me of another one I wrote about my piano teacher from when I was in elementary school. I may have to dig that poem out, too!
I loved seeing the side by side comparisons and editing process for this poem! Also the swish swish of my thighs in the corduroys -- greaaaat sensory detail. I remember this from when I wore corduroys too :)
Aw, thanks!!
Oh I enjoyed seeing both versions. I understood the librarian comment a bit more in the 2nd one but I equally enjoyed both versions.
Thanks!!
Love your poem, its revised self, and you as
poet❤️
Thank you!! <3
Happy Poetry Month! I found the revisions you'd made from your original to the 2025 poem so fascinating. Subtle changes but greatly improved. I placed both versions side by side in a Word doc table and the revised poem is visually appealing and the new structure enhances its rhythm. And how exciting that you're taking a playwriting course! Switching it up once again. Thanks for sharing.
So cool that you put them side by side to compare!! Thank you!!
I couldn't 'see' the changes just reading through both but knew they read differently.
Oh, cool! I didn't know how to put them side by side in the Substack; otherwise, I probably would have :-) .
Cool to see your poem and then the revisions, Jessica! I love seeing that process. I also adore the photo of you as a child. Your spirit shines through!
Aw, thank you, Kathy!!
I loved the original poem, and yet your revisions have made such a difference! I appreciate how you shared your thoughts and the steps you took. Thank you!
Thanks for reading, Karen!! I always enjoy your poetry, too!